Exploring BDSM: A Workbook for Couples (or More) Discovering Kink by Morgan Thorne

Author:Morgan Thorne [Thorne, Morgan]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-11-23T00:00:00+00:00

What Can We Learn?

In this scene, we see a few different things from the first one. The first is that it is very easy to forget small parts of your toys when preparing for a scene. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten a lighter or some other small thing for a scene. As a result, I have a number of lighters around my dungeon and I always keep one with the wax play candles and fire cups.

Make sure you go over each item and have what you need to make it work. Have condoms for insertables (if you plan on using condoms for those), have lighters for candles. It’s also a good idea to have a towel if you’re playing with ice because it makes a bit of a mess when it melts. Use enough and you will have a rather large wet spot to deal with.

The first “toy” that Jamie tried didn’t work out. It didn’t get the reaction they wanted or any reaction at all. It’s okay. Some things won’t work out the way you want. Just put them aside and move on to the next thing. Just make sure that your bottom isn’t the stoic type! Stoic bottoms can be hard to read because they don’t have much of a reaction to things. This is where knowing your partner and their reactions come in handy. If you’re in doubt, check in and ask.

In this scenario, Taylor called yellow. This generally means that a bottom is close to their limit and can’t take much more of this activity (of course, you can negotiate a different meaning if you choose). Tickling is one of those activities that will make almost any bottom safe word. I’ve had bottoms who you could beat bloody and they would ask for more. Tickling would always result in a “RED!!”

Jamie chose to move to a different activity when yellow was called. You can try a few different things in this situation, depending on what you’ve negotiated. You can say “just a few more” continuing for a short time before moving on. You can keep going until you get a red/safe word. You can move on immediately. You can always return to that activity once the person has had a chance to recover a bit, or you may want to leave it alone for the rest of that scene.

Since the two hadn’t discussed how they would indicate time to switch, it was up in the air. In this case, they were both agreeable to it. If you choose to switch during a scene, you may want to set a specific time when that will happen (after I do this, you take over). You may want to go back and forth, trading off after each activity or randomly. Some switches like to “fight” for control. Others will switch at some point and not switch back. Basically, it’s totally up to you and your partner, there is no wrong way to switch.

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